Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Big shout-out to slugs for doing everything a snail does but without a helmet.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.