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I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. ...We launch a bird into pigs!
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn`t look that much different from my actual head.
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.