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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...