Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
This status has been censored by Facebook
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
Helpful Tip: Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.