Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Iām starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
My internet goes out more than I do.
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
I swear if my memory gets any worse, i`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.