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Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.