Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turtles do nothing and are slow as hell, yet they live for like 200 years. I`ll probably live forever.
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
Sometimes when Iām feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.