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Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid`s vomit.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.