Daily Silly Status

Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!

I`ve had like 10 red bulls, so of course I`m vacuuming the front yard.

I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...

One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.

When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.

Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."

I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don`t think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.

All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.

I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.

Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?

I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m

I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.