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My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
I read Facebook for the pictures.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.