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I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There`s like 10 women to each man and they`re already there looking for things they don`t need.
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.