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Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
People should be loved. Things should be used. Unfortunately, we have it backwards
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Kinda hard to believe not a single mutant at professor Xavier’s school had the power to heal a dude’s legs.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.