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10 years from now: “Dad, how did you meet mom? Well, your mom had the hottest profile pic…so I had to friend request that.”
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
When the kids come home from school they close the door then almost immediately open another door..... The one to the fridge!!!!
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.