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like this if you are against animal cruelty
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
It should really be called teethpaste.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time