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I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
50 years ago you had to get really f*cking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.