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Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night… So I said I had a headache.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.