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WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
Finding friends with the same disorder as you... priceless!
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, Iām part of the other 2%
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
Don`t let anyone call you an "underachiever". If they knew you, they`d know how amazing it is that you`ve managed to accomplish anything.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling