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I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.
If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, text them when you’re drunk.
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.