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I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can`t figure out how to escape with all the windows down.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because Iām a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
āI need to stop,ā I whispered as I clicked next episode.
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly