Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d love to bring a guest.
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.