Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
Dear family, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories ... Here`s my therapy bill.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over