Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just drank a `coffee to go` while sitting. Screw the system!
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
Can I get likes for no reason?
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?