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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shi t.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day