Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
No cowboy in the world can out draw a grandmother pulling a baby picture out of her wallet.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.