Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
I think my girlfriend’s hallucinating. She keeps telling me she’s seeing other people.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
In space they just call it "Jam"
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Better late than pregnant.