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If laziness was a sport, I would win first. Except I would have to send someone to except my medal.
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord, BRB - Burn Religious Books, TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out