Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
Childhood is like being drunk: Everyone remembers what you did except you.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.