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I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
Hi Iām a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Iām too young to be too old for everything.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
5 symptoms of laziness ā> 1.