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You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.