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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I just called. To say. I texted you.
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!