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Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I`m not an actor.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?