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"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to stop being so impatient.
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.