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If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO