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One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
From now on when I accept a friend request I`ll just write on their wall: You belong to me now.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.