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You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
When I win the lottery, the first thing I`m going to buy is a pot to piss in. I`ve always wanted one of those.
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
You know what`s wrong with winning a hundred thousand dollars? ... Not a damn thing!