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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
With all the potato chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...
I think eating is my kind of sport.
Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
Make your girlfriend scream your name, leave the toilet seat up.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn`t open for you
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.