Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
Some days are just not meant to be productive.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.