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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I don`t really understand why women are expected to be able to cook if they can give blowjobs.
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
My new plan is to ignore my problems until they become hilarious stories.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..