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Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
“I saw that.” -Karma
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.