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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
only fights if pillows are present.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
Is it just me or does the word "retweet" bring up images of Elmer Fudd commanding an army on the defensive?
Not many people can say their Batman wallet matches their underwear like I can.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.