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I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.