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Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-