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I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"