Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
Honk if you wanna see the finger
status uploading
How Big is Infinity?