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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
is "insert clever remark here."
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
Even if your life was a total waste of space, there’s always hope that you’ll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
Seriously, dude...Is there a name for what`s wrong with you?
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!