Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.