Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I purchased my own Taser off the internet the other day. In a totally unconnected incident, I´ve got to buy a cat to replace the neighbors one this afternoon.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
For daylight savings, we should move the clocks forward an hour on Monday at 9 AM so that we lose an hour of work instead of sleep.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
I never let anyone see me eat junk food. Not because I`m afraid they will judge me. I just don`t want to share.
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....