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As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.