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I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
You gotta push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of just one piece. Burn your ex`s house down. I believe in you!
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium