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I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
Life is so much funnier if you have a dirty mind
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
This post is just for you.
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.?
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative