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I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
What about a To-Don`t List?
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Yes, Facebook says we`re `friends` but, trust me, I wouldn`t hesitate to punch you in the face.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.