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Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
facebooked yo mama!!!
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.