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I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren`t in the database.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
I look so young for my rage.
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"