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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
I don’t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.