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I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
My boss told me "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.