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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
Why don`t we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of your eye but half the time there is anything in my eye its an eyelash!
Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
I end a sentence with `just saying` because ending with `dumba$$` would be offensive.