Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
Sex, do it for the kids.
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my “funny” status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body...
I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.