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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.